How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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