I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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