Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
