He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
