I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
