I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
