The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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