: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
