How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
third nipple confirmed
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
