i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
