I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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