do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
