I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
