A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
