oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
