would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
