YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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