physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
