You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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