My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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