My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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