You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I am one with the molecules
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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