just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
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