I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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