I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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