She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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