I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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