3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Randomize
