I feel great
I just peed on a car
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
