those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
