as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
