how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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