how hairy? two words: wookie tits
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize