You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
