but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
