I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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