So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
My dick has a subreddit
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize