she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You made out with two different species that night
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
