If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
