i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
