I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
