Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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