We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
