The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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