When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
