Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
