Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
