I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Randomize
