All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Randomize