Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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