it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
