So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
