I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
