Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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