the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
