How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
