well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
