Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
