I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
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