I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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