I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
