so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
