wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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