just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
