do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
